


and i could wait a lifetime

by skybluepaint



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: 2hyun - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2018-12-24 10:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12010797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skybluepaint/pseuds/skybluepaint
Summary: "if you" inspired. a series of quiet moments.





	1. i wanna put away the goodbyes for now

**Author's Note:**

> i’ll keep your spot empty,  
> i wanna put away the goodbyes for now.

When their lips touch for the first time, it’s a myriad of quiet moments rather than sparks.

Nothing life-changing, nothing momentous. Just, “Ah, this is how it’s supposed to be.” Like snow accumulating quietly on a sidewalk, or the the soft crunch of autumn leaves.

Minhyun pulls away first, and looks down into the dark gaze of the man he loved, surely, since they first met. He smiles. And Jonghyun smiles back at him.

“That felt... _right_ ,” says Minhyun simply, and Jonghyun nods. It’s all that needs to be said. Jonghyun silently reaches for Minhyun’s hands, and as if the most natural thing in the world, their fingers intertwine.

Minhyun looks at the sky, feeling defeated and terrified of the coming morning that seems to be rushing at him; already, he sees the stretching fingers of a keen sun. Because, desperately, he doesn’t want this moment to end.

He grips Jonghyun’s hand a little tighter, and in response, Jonghyun squeezes back. It’s comforting, but it’s not enough to soothe the growing feeling of dread in the pit of Minhyun’s stomach.

“Why now,” he murmurs. It wasn’t a question.

Jonghyun presses his head into Minhyun’s shoulder and answers anyway. “Because the nation loves you.”

“They love you too.”

“Yes. And so do you." He smiles again, though it's hard to see from Minhyun's angle. "And I’m happy enough with that.”

“Since when have you been so at peace with the status quo?”

“Because I know you’re more than capable of handling it.” Jonghyun closes his eyes; the flutter of his eyelashes causes a reaction in Minhyun’s heartrate. He prays Jonghyun doesn’t sense it; Minhyun has exposed himself enough this evening.

“Thank you for trusting in me,” says Minhyun quietly.

“Because you trust in me.” Jonghyun’s eyelashes flutter again. “It’s mutual.”

They sit together on the bench in silence together, watching the morning stretch into the sky.

In a few hours, Minhyun will take his packed suitcase and head to the YMC dorm.

In a few hours, Jonghyun will start moving into the empty room.

In a few hours, Nu’est will temporarily become 5 - 1, an empty space salient.

But, for now, each other’s company is enough.

They grip each other's hands a little tighter and hate the fact that eventually, they'll have to let go.


	2. swimming in the emptiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ll dive in and swim, the scent is deeply embedded  
> so the emptiness becomes a boat for me

A chilly morning on the edge of winter, Jonghyun wakes up and wishes immediately he could go back to sleep.

The bodily warmth he expects next to him in the mornings isn't here. In his dreams, he can forget. But reality is harsh and cold, so he shivers, pulling his comforter close to his body. It smells like Minhyun, because he purposefully used the same detergent. It's an incomparable replacement for Minhyun's embrace, but it'll have to do.

He can't see him.

He can't speak to him.

He can't even message him.

Did Minhyun really live here before?

It's irrational, Jonghyun knows, but his emotions have nowhere to go. So they take over his mind and leave him restless and aching.

He reaches for his phone and does his daily Naver search.

Hwang Minhyun  
Birthdate: 1995 August 9  
Group: Wanna One, Nu'est  
Company: Pledis  
Education: Inha University  
Debut: 2012 Nu'est Single Album [FACE]

This is his only official confirmation that Minhyun, truly, once lived here.

The other members avoid speaking Minhyun's name. Jonghyun is the same. None of them has ever explicitly said they ought to avoid it. But collectively, they know if someone were to say it, it would unleash a wave of emotions that were impossible to soothe; to try to hold back that torrent is the best they can do for each other to maintain some sense of balance despite the missing space threatening it.

Most of all, they are terrified of hurting Minhyun, who has already cried enough for their sake.

So Jonghyun stays quiet as always, relying on a Naver search that brings up a list of results full of Wanna One activities. It does nothing to soothe the churning of bittersweet emotions threatening to spill out of his eyes.

He turns his face into his pillow to block out the morning light and to try to dream of something a little less painful than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back;;


End file.
